If you have sex on demand, be aware that this may come to an end after you propose or, even worse, after you say, “I do.” 2. Opposites may initially attract, but once the novelty wears off, research (Buston and Emlen, 2003) indicates they don’t stand the test of time. You just don’t have anything in common — including values. High-conflict partners generate toxic, never ending, irresolvable arguments, blame, and shame. Even more important, her happiness shouldn’t be contingent upon your misery. Familiarity in the way we communicate and express love and affection is comforting and a strong foundation for a lasting and loving relationship. Yes, you need to put some effort into relationship maintenance, but it shouldn’t be a constant, uphill struggle. You don’t have to like all the same things, but you should have some shared interests and, more importantly, values. Some women only seem to be happy when they can inflict pain or some kind of suffering on their partners. If she tries to insinuate herself into your other relationships and personal space too quickly, be on high alert. This applies to more than jealousy about your ex-girlfriends, classmates, clients or colleagues. It could be a sign of trouble if your partner: Bottom line: Trust your judgment. Hartwell-Walker suggests keeping your own personal deal-breaker list to five things that are non-negotiable for you, and leave it at that.
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